Happy New Year!

Everybody have a great 2009!

Merry Christmas To All!

Well, tomorrow be the day, so I want to wish everyone a very merry Christmas, and a happy New Year!
Hope 2008 was good to you, and that 2009 will be even better! ^^
三アちゃん、愛している!

Homecoming

Well, I was feeling rather down at the weekend and hence I decided not to post for fear of getting too emo, and then I thought that not much had happened the rest of the week, but in summary, went to a Japanese restaurant to say goodby to Satoshi on Tuesday, and me and Sam went to a Life Science Society Christmas party on Thursday. And tomorrow, I'll be going home for Christmas ^^
This is just a bit of advanced warning that I probably won't be posting a lot for the next month, so anyone out there who reads my blog, I apologise.
So anyways, everyone have a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!
三アちゃん、愛している!

Cheese

Got up this morning about 11.30am, printed out notes for GED then headed out at about 12.30. As I don't have any more Japanese or labs this semester, that was the only class I had today. Me and Sam went to get tickets for the Life Science Society Christmas Party next week, and then I got a bit of food from Tesco which I hope will last me until I leave for Christmas.
Got back here and did a little work, but have mostly done very little. We postponed the Deathnote screening because so many people bailed out, and so we played Munchkin for a while, which is really not as fun with only two people.
I had a nap for about an hour, and woke up still feeling rather tired. One of my friends started talking to me about something a little upsetting and I guess it caught me a little off-guard while I was still tired, and so I've been feeling kinda down ever since. Not helped by the fact that she's been getting drunk alone, and then talking on the phone to one of her friends (who I'd like to kill in the slowest, most painful way possible as it is) when she never talks to me on the phone like that. So that's really not put me in a great mood at all. Also tried eating 200g of mature cheddar, which made me feel rather ill. Dunno when I'll go to sleep tonight, guess I'll see when I feel too tired to stay up any longer.
Night all,
三アちゃん、愛している!

Kampai!

Well, we've established that it IS possible to curse something by talking about it 'never happening'! Me and Sam had a conversation last night and she said 'Don't worry, I won't be late for the lecture'. And what happened? She texted me halfway through the lecture saying 'Shit, I slept through my alarm and got woken up by the maintenance man!'. And neither Helen (whose three alarms didn't go off) nor Claire (who also slept in) were in the lecture either so I was all alone :-( Anyway, I made my way over to Sam's as fast as possible after the lecture, and made it there in record time. Nearly slipped on a patch of black ice, but managed to get through it unscathed ^^'.
Me and Sam walked back from hers and made it to Biodiversity in plenty of time, and I lent her my notes for the lecture she missed (Helen's also asked to borrow them so I guess they'll do the rounds ^^'). After biodiversity I went into town and bought a lilac shirt and purple/black striped tie to go with my black suit for the Japanese Society Christmas Party. Did a bit of work when I got back, then met Louise at the bus-stop and got onto the bus which Sam, Joe and Michael were on, and we headed up to the Britannia. The food was good, but the entertainment left a lot to be desired ^^' Batman and Robin were our MCs XD Me and Sam avoided the partner dancing and then Sam spent the whole rest of the evening wondering who her dance partner would have been. We did a bit of general disco style dancing but I can't dance for shit so it was kinda embarrassing for me.
Went to the bar next door for about 10 minutes before getting bored and walking back home, where I'm now sat chatting with everyone.
Think that's about it for today, so I'll report again tomorrow. Cheerio!
三アちゃん、好きだ！

Happy Days ^^

Started today with a tutorial, where we decided to change the topic of our group poster from foetal development to pigmentation and colour change. I've gotta research the mechanisms behind it, and Helen gave me a few pointers so thanks to her for that ^^
Had biochemistry, which was a bit dull >< Then spent an hour with Sam and Claire in the library, doing Japanese and talking about examinations past.
Had my Japanese oral presentation after that. I talked about my exchange to Tokyo, and I think it went rather well. I worked well through my presentation and the questions I think, so now just gotta see how my grades go. Spent the next hours with Antje and Etoka-san (still don't know her first name >< all I know is she's a Francophone), sitting in one of the university eatteries having pizza (more pizza XD yum-yum). Went and met Sam and Claire after their Japanese lesson, dossed around for a bit then went to try and buy tickets for the Life Science Christmas Party. Ended up buying tickets to the WRONG event! But got it refunded so it was all good ^^
Spent the time since then working on ePoster and tutorial essay, both of which I think (hope) are now done. Looking forward to the Japanese Society Christmas Party tomorrow for sure ^^ But need to buy a shirt and tie beforehand...
Yet more indulgence today took the form of a couple of bottles of cherry coke, one of which I drank tonight and the other I'm saving for classes tomorrow. Still, I'm happy ^^
Mia said she had fun last night, though she had to work some overtime at work and now seems to have a fever and is really hot (and not just in the physical way anymore :-p), so I'm hoping she manages to shake that off soon. And she has the Angelic Layer manga! *wants*
Anyway, that's about it tonight. Still up keeping Sam company during her bout of insomnia, though I shall attempt to poke her into bed before too long as we both have to be up at 7am tomorrow o.O *is 2am already*
Night all,
三アちゃん、愛している!

Get It Together...

Today started out pretty normally, but then kinda nosedived. Started with Sam saying she wasn't going to go shopping today like we'd planned. Then she decided to wait until tomorrow until buying the tickets to a party next week. So I ended up walking off without saying anything else to her.
Talked to her on MSN a few hours later, and turns out she thought I didn't want to be around her because I was acting moody and distant. Whereas the fact of the matter was that I was only acting that way because I thought she didn't want to be around me. Think I suffered a minor nervous breakdown at one point, but I think we patched it up a little, but still, I have to get my act together and get more positive. For my friendship with Sam, and for everyone else...
After that, I went out to roleplay club which was rather amusing. Though turns out I could have brought my Munchkin cards because one of our members (who occasionally objects to Munchkin) wasn't there. But still, we had a few amusing moments. Airglided onto an airship, involving one of our party going really far out of the way and almost getting killed by an enemy general; some dumb underling picked up my magic sword and got zapped because it has a 'true name' which only I know; Gray's character threw a canister of pure aether (mana) at the enemy general and our other party member (also heavily damaged), and a large aether explosion has resulted in everyone being blown back and a cloud of smoke descending on the deck, whish is where we left it for the evening. At one of the other tables, a character ended up failing some rolls for a kill spell and not only wiped out all the enemies, but all of his own party except for one of his former team-mates' familiars. Everyone in the room gave him a clap XD
Anyway, got back at just gone 11 with a bottle of Dr Pepper and a medium meatzza pizza from the Domino's on the corner. I considered going for a large as it was only £1 more than a medium, but thought better of it. Probably just as well, as I was pleasantly stuffed after the pizza and drink. I think I will try the large next time though, just to see how I feel afterwards XD Yeah, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I've lost over half a stone since I arrived so I need to bulk out a bit again I think. If all else fails, Christmas will surely see to that ^^'
Unfortunately I didn't get to talk to Mia-chan much this evening because she was out at a work party and then I was out at roleplay. I talked to her a little in the afternoon though, so it's better than nothing ^^
I have a Japanese presentation to give tomorrow - an assessed oral test - so wish me luck!
Anyway, probably a good idea if I sleep now, so here's to a new positive outlook. For the sake of friendship.
Night night,
三アちゃん、愛している!

Fate giveth, Fate taketh away

Well today looked like it was going to be a really good day, but it just ended up going from bad to worse.
Went to get a phone top-up this morning, but the machine wasn't working so the person at the till refunded my money. Then as I was waiting for my first lecture, it came through that the top-up had been successful. Only now it seems to have disappeared again, for reasons unknown o.O Strange...
Anyway, had two lectures then came back home. Did a little work, and been listening to some more Fall Out Boy. Also added a new person from Elftown onto MSN. The weird thing this time is that I've only been speaking to her for about a week and a half. So much for my 2 year wait o.O But still, she seems nice enough, and we webcammed so I know she's genuine.
Tomorrow a bunch of us are going to get tickets for the Life Sciences Christmas Party, which should be good. Then HOPEFULLY we should be doing a little Christmas shopping. Plus I have roleplay. And I MUST DO SOME WORK! I have a Japanese oral exam on Wednesday so I have to be prepared. Plus an essay to finish for Friday and an ePoster to alter.
I guess that's about it for tonight anyhow. Ciao.
三アちゃん、愛している!

Where Is Your Boy Tonight?

Haven't done much today to be honest. Got up at about midday rather than staying in bed so that I'd feel tired enough to sleep.
Did a bit of work and printed some more quotes. Tried to draft Brad and Paul into my cunning scheme but they didn't want in on it, but luckily there's been a change of plan so now I can go through with the scheme with a fairly minor alteration.
In other new, ME AND SAMMIE ISH GOING TO SEE FALL OUT BOY IN MARCH! *Dances* I think it's a first concert for both of us, and I'm really excited ^^ Shame that the others didn't want to come, but it's gonna be so much fun anyway!
Hve run out of credit again, annoyingly >< So must get some credit tomorrow, and as I only have 40p in my wallet I also need some cash desperately. Only a few more weeks to go until I go home for Christmas, which should be fun ^^ Family got Wii Fit and I want to play!
I looked through a few pics of Sam on Facebook today and rediscovered some pictures that I'd seen on there before the end of summer, before I met her. I was so shocked how little they looked like her. Though I'm glad she looks the way she does, because she looks much better than she does on the pictures. Now if I could only convince her that she was attractive, everyone would be happy.
Mia's been worrying about doing overtime at work again which she really dislikes, and as she's working pretty much solid from now until January I think she can afford a little slack. Although she does want to save up some for her visit. I hope she can get the tickets and passport soon!
Anyway, it's late and I have class tomorrow, so I'll sign off now to get some toast, see if Sam's finished tidying and if she wants to talk some more, and then go to sleep. Night all
三アちゃん、愛している！

Saturday

I got up rather late today (as in, after midday) but I didn't have to get up early so why the hell not, eh? At 4, me and Sam went to the International Society for the Japanese Evening. Started off with a few... technical difficulties involving a projector, but then got a bit of a talk about Japanese culture, which taught me a few new things, and then we did a bit of origami and were taught a bit of Japanese (though I knew most of the stuff they were teaching so me and Sam were just discussing our upcoming Japanese exams). There was a rather amusing incident involving Sam really needing to go to the toilet, but I don't think she'd appreciate me going into too much detail about that!
Anyway, then we moved on to the food. We started off making cucumber and crab stick nigiri rolls, using the bamboo mats that we were allowed to keep. I used rather a lot of rice, but still, it tasted pretty good and stayed together rather well. Next we used a little rice-compressing tray thingamyjig to make some rice blocks which we then put smoked salmon on top of, which was also nice. Then we had inari tofu bags stuffed with rice, which were quite sweet and by this time I was flagging a bit. Then we had a big plate of rice with salmon teriyaki. Considering all the food I'd had before, AND the tonne of green tea I'd had throughout the evening, I struggled to finish it all, but I made it in the end, and still drained the little cup of sake too (we decided it tasted like a cross between vodka and wine - still makes me flinch like vodka does though). Sam nearly got through it all and, considering how little she is compared to me, that was rather an achievement!
Anyway, we waddled out of the door and went back home after that, and I've been back in my room since then, heading to the toilet rather a lot to drain out the last of the green tea! I also decided to brighten up my bare walls a bit by printing out a lot of cool quotations in pretty colours and taping them to my wall. So much for the Halls' rule of not using tape or Blu-tack on the walls but a.) I couldn't even FIND my Blu-tack, b.) I'm pretty sure no-one else pays any attention to that rule anyway, and c.) The paint's peeling off my walls anyway, so I'm sure a few bits of tape won't matter. Well, 72 pieces of tape to be precise, but still, can't hurt really.
Also been trying to arrange a few things with people, namely an outing to the Life Sciences Society Christmas Society, and evening at a karaoke booth, and a trip to the Fall Out Boy concert at the MEN Arena in March. Fun fun fun if it all goes according to plan, so let's hope it does ^^
Anyway, it's 4am and, dispite being completely stuffed to the gills earlier on, I'm getting a bit peckish now so I'm going to go for some cheese and then hit the pit. Night all
三アちゃん、愛している！

Old Poetry

While browsing my Myspace page earlier on, I rediscovered some old poetry that I didn't even remember writing, so I'll post it up here and you can tell me what you think ^^

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Stars

Love is elusive,
Like shining stars in the sky,
Wonderful to behold,
And yet so far from my reach.

After the sunset,
I stare at the sky,
The twinkling points of light,
Burning in the darkness.

The cold of the night,
It chills my heart so much,
Alone I gaze to the stars,
And wish they were closer to me.

I wait for sunrise,
The glorious golden sunshine,
The star so close I can feel it,
The love to fill me with warmth.

But for now I gaze on,
Up into the night sky,
At the shining constellations,
The beautiful twinkling stars.

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The Cave

Within the cave, I walk,
Searching for the exit from this misery,
I have been looking all my life,
But I do not wish to continue for eternity.

The darkness is all-consuming,
All hope and happiness disappears,
The blindness of my heart,
Knowing no love all these years.

Suddenly, a burst of light,
Down a passage in the distance,
Could it be the answer? My escape?
I follow it as though in a trance.

I am lead deeper into the dark by the light,
Sure that it would lead me to the Sun,
But then an evil creature extinguishes the flame,
I am once again trapped, the light was not the One.

I search for the end once again,
I search for a long time,
I see a twinkling, it has been there for years,
But to it, I had been blind.

I follow this spark, it grows warmer,
But as I reach out to touch it,
I am burnt, and my soul is charred,
Yet the flame stays dimly lit.

As I search once more, the flame trails me,
Providing a small warmth, but not enough,
I feel my way through the tunnels,
Knowing the journey will remain tough.

I heard the crackling of flames up the passage,
It sounds familiar, but now I wonder,
I get quite close, then it taunts me so,
My heart is blown asunder.

Still I search, as I've always done,
I think I see another light,
But my heart and soul are full of doubt,
Maybe, this time, could I be right?

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Alphabet Poem 1

A cloak of shadow,
Black upon a white canvas,
Crying tears of anger and sadness,
Deep in an abyss of sorrow.

Everything is tainted,
Fogged by twisted perception,
Golden sun eclipsed by the dark moon,
Hatred and love entwined.

I am waiting,
Just as I have always been,
Killed slowly from the inside,
Love unrequited.

My heart is aching,
No-one to love, no-one to love back,
Only the depths of despair,
Plunged into a sea of pain.

Quietly I suffer,
Reality causing only pain,
Secretly I wish you loved me,
Though it's impossible.

Unable to hold you,
Vexed by my inner feelings,
Wanting you to say those three words,
Expressing love for me.

Yearning for words you will never say,
Zephyrs of doubt are blowing my way.

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Alphabet Poem 2

A radiant sunrise glows with light,
Breezes spread the scent of flowers,
Cloudless skies with flocks of birds,
Dazzling butterflies flit for hours.

Evenings on a sunset beach,
Feeling the sand and hearing the sea,
Glittering stars in the sky at night,
Heavens in happy harmony.

I walk along a country path,
Just strolling through the fields of wheat,
Knees being brushed by waving grass,
Listening to birds that chirp and tweet.

My wandering brings me to a hill,
Night closes in as the sun sets,
On soft green grass I rest my head,
Perfect to take a comfy rest.

Quiet as the night goes on,
Resting here so peacefully,
Seeing you here in my dreams,
The hope I have that you love me.

Upon the sight of you I smile,
Vibrantly your beauty shines,
Whenever we are both together,
Excitement and happiness fill my mind.

You'd make me whole if you loved me,
Zenith of my hopes and dreams.

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French Poem

Dans les montagnes des Pyrénées,
Je cours entre les arbres,
Je veux trouver la solution,
La réponse de tous mes questions.

Le vent sur mon visage,
Les oiseaux qui chantent,
L'air des montagnes chante aussi,
La chanson des âges.

Le passé, le présent, l'avenir,
Je veux trouver la vérité,
Je suis qui? Je suis quoi?
Pourquoi est-ce que j'existe?

Après quelques jours,
J'arrive à la mer,
L'eau est un blue-clair,
Comme la ciel, sans nuages.

J'entends un bruit,
Je tourne, et je vous voir,
J'entends votre voix,
Mais ton visage est obscurci.

"Ne t'inquiétes pas," vous ditez,
"La réponse de tes questions,
C'est dans ton c--ur,"
Et vous m'approchez.

Je vous tiens dans mes bras,
Et vous me tenez aussi,
Nous embrassons avec passion,
Et j'ai trouvé la solution.

---

(In the mountains of the Pyrenees,
I run between the trees,
I want to find the solution,
The answer to all my questions.

The wind on my face,
The birds that sing,
The mountain air sings too,
The song of ages.

The past, the present, the future,
I want to find the truth,
Who am I? What am I?
Why do I exist?

After several days,
I arrive at the sea,
The water is a light blue,
Like the sky, without clouds.

I hear a sound,
I turn, and I see you,
I hear your voice,
But your face is obscured.

"Don't worry," you say,
"The answer to your questions,
It's in your heart,"
And you approach me.

I hold you in my arms,
And you hold me too,
We kiss with passion,
And I have found my answer.)

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Cloudshine

I’m walking through the shadowed city streets,
I listen to my heart each time it beats,
I look up to the sky and think of you,
Between the night-time clouds a star shines through,
Despite the inky blackness of the night,
The clouds above appear a pearly-white,
Despite the cautious warnings of my mind,
Some hope inside my heart I still can find,
I think that somehow you might like me too,
And so I wonder what I have to do,
To show you that upon this crowded Earth,
No other person has a greater worth,
Than you, inside my heart, and in my eye,
As once again I gaze into the sky.

A Journey Through Time And Space...

Got up at about 9 this morning with the shocking realisation that I'd got a tutor meeting at 11.15. Was there hellishly early because I'd been late to the first one, but still, I did well in my practice tests, so yay! ^^
Had a couple of classes, which weren't too strenuous, then went to see The Mighty Boosh Live Tour with Helen, which was really funny.
Sam's currently trying to get us to go over to Dalton Ellis to walk around at 1 in the morning, but as she's a notoriously slow replier on MSN, it's taking a while...
Anyway, I might post some old poetry a bit later, but for now, night night
三アちゃん、大好き！

Short and not-so-sweet

Woke up at 7 at my first alarm today, went back to sleep
Woke up at 7.15 at my second alarm, went back to sleep
Woke up at 8.30 for no apparent reason, and realised I had a lecture at 9
Was sat in the lecture theatre at 8.50
How I did that I'll never know!

Anyway, nothing frightfully eventful class-wise today. Between the two lectures I went and had another hot chocolate with Sam, then went home and slept for an hour in a not-so-great mood, as I didn't get to go into town like I'd hoped. Woke up, realised there was half an hour to go until the Japanese lecture, but figured I didn't wanna go and rush into the cold again, so I stayed at home. I'm not credited for it anyway so it's okay, plus Japanese history in the more modern era doesn't interest me as much as feudal Japan.
Had a bit of a chat with Maria today, because I was getting worried about the way my feelings were for her. After chatting for a bit, I realised I do still love her a lot, and I can wait until February when she visits ^^
Aside from that, nothing else to note really, so nighty night for now
三アちゃん、愛をしている!

Emotional Overload

Today's been a bit mixed again.
Started off with an odd dream, where I saw an old 'friend' whose picture I saw online the previous night. WHY I would dream about her I have no idea, I don't even like her any more, but still, for a while it put me in a weird mood. It was this time last week that I had a strange dream about someone unexpected too... Must be the time of the week I guess...
Had a few lectures today, which weren't too bad, then went to my friend Claire's tai chi class, which was really interesting, I've never done anything quite like it before. I think it'll take some time to get used to, so I'll keep it up. Just a pain that it's a half an hour walk to and from in the cold and dark ><
Came back here and haven't done much except eat a load of toast, cheese, corned beef and black, unsweetened coffee.
Still feeling a bit emotionally unstable, but talking to people is gradually helping me settle everything down. I did however write a poem about it:

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Emotional Overload
I feel as though my heart's about to burst,
I feel as if I truly must be cursed,
Emotions going into overload,
I'm stuck forever walking down this road,
My love and joy entwined with pain and hate,
They all become so hard to separate,
I can't protect the ones I love the most,
And so I stand as helpless as a ghost,
A thousand thoughts are running through my head,
I walk between the living and the dead,
I need to learn to let my feelings go,
But how to go about it I don't know,
My soul has been so fragile from the start,
I need to learn to calm my aching heart.

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Comments would be appreciated.
Anyways, that's about all to say for today. Night all
Mia, jag älskar dig, sötnos!

Thinking is a bad idea

Today was an early start >< But Maria called me on her way to her sister's house, so that was nice. Had a couple of lectures (and was fooled into believing that our lecturer had brought a live horseshoe crab to the lecture - I was so disappointed), and sat and had a hot chocolate with Sam for an hour. Did a little work, watched Heroes, and went to roleplay club, playing Munchkin and having a good laugh at the images that came into my head during roleplay.
Tonight's been pretty uneventful, which has given me time to think, and when I think it never ends well... So I'm now feeling a mixture of upset, unhappy, angry, suspicious...
Anyway, night night
三アちゃん、大好き

Pinch, punch, first of the month

Well, today's been pretty good, although I started it out by withdrawing a large amount of money ><
Started with a few lectures which wasn't too bad, then me and Sam bought our tickets to a couple of Japanese events, which should be fun. Then did some shopping and spent MORE money >< But I got Cheeselets so I'm happy ^^
Spent the rest of the day mainly doing work on Blackboard and playing Tetris, and chatting with people online. Got to try and get up to date with this work!
Anyway, Mia's off at her sister's tomorrow so I won't get to speak to her then, but she said she'll call me in the morning ^^
三アちゃん、愛をしている!